


Deep Regrets

by stargatefan_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Action/Adventure, Character Death, Drama, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-10-06 21:39:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10345116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stargatefan_archivist/pseuds/stargatefan_archivist
Summary: A hockey game againstSG-6 leads to dangerous consequences.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Yuma, the archivist: this work was originally archived at [Stargatefan.com](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Stargatefan.com). To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [StargateFan Archive Collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/StargateFan_Archive_Collection).

Stargate SG-1 | Gen Fanfiction | Deep Regrets

##  Deep Regrets

##### Written by Pam3   
Comments? Write to me at roci@total.net 

  


_Jack O'Neill_   

I can't wait to get my teeth into some of those steaks that Janet has on the grill! She's killing me here! She won't let anyone touch them until "everything is perfect." Of course, by that she meant that the table has to be set perfectly with each napkin folded exactly in place. Everything has to be so damn perfect with this woman. The table cloth has to be "sparkling white". She already put it through the washing machine twice when she found a stain for crying out loud! This smell is tantalising! I'm so damn hungry I can feel my stomach pulsating! Of course, when I asked her how much longer, her lips curled up into a sweet smile and she answered, "Why don't you start the hockey tournament with the guys and I'll see what I can do." And with that, she completely dismissed me, swiped her hand over the table cloth to straighten out a crease and walked back into her kitchen through the patio door. @#$@#$! At least the day was nice. Of course, I'm sweating like a pig. Mmmmm...pig! O'Neill, stop thinking about food and concentrate on something else for once. Now, where's a beer when you really need one?!? I guess playing a little game of hockey with the boys couldn't hurt. There's nothing like getting the ol' testosterone pumping before scarfing down on some dead cow. 

Samantha Carter  

I love these little get togethers that the SG units organize once a year. It's always fun to socialize with others who get to experience that same thrill that you feel deep down every time you step onto a new planet. Oh, there's Cathy. Maybe I'll ask her about that new radiation detector device that she was working on. Hold it there Carter, this is not work. Relax and enjoy. Smile, sip your Coke and make conversation. Like what about talking to Major Gordon over there. He's always been nice to you. Come on, move your ass girl! Time to flirt!

Daniel Jackson  

G-d, I hate these little get togethers. Actually, it's not the social gathering that's making me feel anxious. It's Jack's little idea of having a hockey tournament against SG-6 that's awakening the little butterflies in my stomach. I tried everything to get out of it. I told him that I didn't have a stick, no problem he told me 'cause he's got at least twenty. I told him I didn't have roller blades, but of course he still has his old ones in his garage. Hell, I even told him that I get nauseated from the gliding motion but all I got for an answer was a loud snort. And now here I am, the only one actually biting my nails out of nerves. I don't even know how to explain this fear of hockey. In high-school, during my gym class, everyone knew about my inability to skate. Forget inability to skate, I could barely keep standing with those damn blades on my feet. Anyway, the ritual always began when two boys would grab hold of my arms and pull me across the gym floor. They would drag me until I was gliding fast enough and then they would let go and watch me try to dodge and eventually collapse over the hockey sticks that were always conveniently scattered on the floor. Let's just say that I would never leave the gym without a new bruise. For the life of me I could never control the damn things. "There's a brake on the back of the right skate" my foster parents would try and explain but whenever I tried to use it, I'd end up flat on my back on the pavement. And now, I have the chance to perform my effective hockey skills in front of my colleagues and make a fool of myself in the process. I should've hung a sign on my back "Beware of falling archeologist!" It would save me the embarrassment. Hey, there's Sam. Maybe together we can convince Jack that this is not such a good idea.

Teal'c  

O'Neill has attempted to educate me on the sport of hockey. I still do not completely comprehend it. According to O'Neill, I am not to allow the black round object known as a "puck" to enter into my territory well-known as a "net". Therefore, I must do everything in my power to prevent this "goal" from occurring. I am to block any attempts from our opponents by using my body. I must try and remember O'Neill's instructions to me before we begin the battle against SG-6. 

Jack O'Neill  

Alright, it's time to gather the team up and get dressed for the game. I brought a bunch of old hockey jerseys for the team. I also brought a couple of sticks and a pair of blades for Daniel. They should fit him. Now where the hell are my car keys. Here we go. Oh G-d, there's Colonel Castles or as I like to refer to him, Colonel Asshole. How Hammond let this guy lead SG-6 is beyond my comprehension. Rumour has it that this guy actually beat up one of his own men giving him a concussion in the process because the guy laughed at him when he tripped during a mission. Of course, it was never reported to the General because, well, the guy didn't want to get killed. That's it O'Neill, put on a nice smile for him. 

"Hello Colonel. Are you ready for a little competition?" He's looking at me with this disgusting sneer. 

"I'm about to get my team ready Castles. You ready with your team?" Give him the O'Neill look. Oh, was that a flicker I saw? Maybe he's not as tough as he seems despite being a good three inches over six feet and having the build of someone who wrestles bulls on his spare time. Man, I gotta stop thinking of food! 

"Oh, they're already gearing up Colonel O'Neill. We're looking forward to a nice competitive game. I'm warning you, my team has been practising. You better warn your team not to get in our way." 

"Wait a minute Castles, this is going to be a clean game. No one gets hurt, do you understand?" Because if anyone of my team members gets hurt, I'm going to make it my personal objective to kick you in the fucking ass you son-of-a-bitch. I can't resist giving him another smile...a smile that says all too much. 

"Understood colonel. But why don't we make the game a little more exciting?" 

"Are you saying a bet Castles?" The game just got interesting. 

"Yeah, a bet O'Neill. What do you say?" He takes a sip from his beer as he awaits my answer. For some reason, I have this vision of Castles cleaning my house with the rest of his team wearing nothing but women undergarments. This is too good to pass. 

"Alright, you got a deal." 

"Good. How about **when** SG-1 loses, you and your team have to prance around the base with nice big signs around your necks "When Nature Calls, We Answer". Of course I'm referring to you and your team cleaning all thirty bathroom facilities in the SGC, male and female. How does that sound?" When SG-1 loses? Man this guy needs his ass kicked and I'll be more than happy to do the honours. 

"Fine Castles, same goes to your team." I offer my hand and he accepts. I give him another one of my O'Neill smiles and turn away. "Carter, Daniel and Teal'c, get over here now!" There's nothing better than a nice healthy competitive game of hockey.

Samantha Carter  

That's it Carter, be suave and gentile. Make him notice you. Hey, he's checking you out. Smile! Smile dammit. Wait a minute, why is he frowning. He's looking next to you. Oh no! It's too late. My back is already wet from the spilled coke and Daniel is sprawled out on the grass. Dammit, it was my favourite top. The one that gave me the most cleavage. Oh well, I barely wear it anyway. I'm always dressed in BDU's. Might as well help Daniel up. 

"I am so sorry Sam. I'm so clumsy!" I can't help but smile. Daniel always feels guilty over everything. I know he didn't mean it. I bend down and pick up the barbie doll that he tripped over. 

"It's Cassandra's" I get a smile from Daniel and soon I forget about the incident. It's so rare that I see a smile out of Daniel these days. Especially since Sha're's death. 

Well, there goes impressing Major Gordon. But before I can even grab something to dry myself with, the Colonel is calling us. Great, I'm really not in the mood to hear Colonel O'Neill comment about Daniel's little 'incident'!

Daniel Jackson  

Great Jackson, another screw up. Surprisingly enough, Sam doesn't seem upset about the coke stain. Sam's great in that sense. She's very easy when it comes to accidents and very quick to forgive. I guess that's because she has a great heart that shines time and time again. Oh great, Jack's calling us. Probably game time. The butterflies are really starting to flutter. 

"Well well Carter, had a little date with the Coke bottle?" I can already see Sam roll her eyes at him. "Okay kids. I've got the equipment in the trunk of my car. Let's get ready for the game. Time to kick some SG-6 ass." Jack smiles at us and then motions us to follow him to the front of Janet's house where he parked his jeep. It's definitely not my day!.

Jack O'Neill  

I can't help but chuckle at my team. Carter is wearing my old New York jersey and it's quite big on her. Actually, that's an understatement. She's practically swimming in it! Teal'c on the other hand can barely move in his jersey it's so damn tight. He didn't even protest when I made him wear a helmet. The goalie, I've learned from experience, should never play unprotected. The helmet is so small on his head that the plastic visor comes up to his forehead instead of his mouth. And Daniel, well Daniel is Daniel. Everything fits him fine. I'm just worried he's going to fall flat on his face any second. Now I'm beginning to have my doubts. I've got a Jaffa as a goaltender who doesn't even know what a puck is, a female scientist who will probably calculate the force needed on the puck for it to reach a velocity fast enough to beat the goalie and another scientist who can barely hold his own. Now's not the time to have doubts O'Neill. Hell, SG-1 was the team that even Hammond had doubts about but has proved to be the most efficient team in the Stargate program. Have faith in them. They may shock you. Alright, concentrate O'Neill, the puck is about to be dropped. 

Samantha Carter  

Oh boy, I never really realized how big Castles really is. Okay, he's coming at me with the puck. I can't believe he beat the colonel in the face-off. Colonel O'Neill is staying back with me. 

"Carter, you take Cromwell, I'll take Castles." He yells out and so we switch positions. They're passing between each other with speed and efficiency. The colonel is doing a good job at covering Castles but I'm having a little trouble following Cromwell. He keeps skating around me and I can hardly keep up. The next thing I know, he's out of my field of vision. "Carter, get him for crying out loud!" That's the colonel and he's pissed. I know that tone far too well. Oh G-d, Cromwell's in front of Teal'c and before I can even move a foot, Castles makes a beautiful pass to Cromwell who flicks the puck up with his stick tipping it at an angle that Teal'c couldn't possibly stop and the scoreboard is no longer zero to zero. Shit! The first thing that comes to my mind is that the members of SG-6 are far better players than my brothers were when we used to play for fun. 

"Carter, you can't let him get out of your grasp like that!" That's the colonel again and he's glaring at me. Not a good sign. I'm about to open my mouth and apologize when I hear a cry. I turn my head but the colonel is already there. 

"Teal'c put him down for crying out loud. He beat you fairly." Teal'c is still holding him by the collar. 

"This is a warning Major Cromwell. Do not attempt to do that again or I will be forced to injure you." And with that threat, Teal'c puts him down.

Teal'c  

I do not comprehend this game. Major Cromwell has defeated me. Colonel O'Neill has explained to me that I cannot take action against him. He tells me that it is part of the game. Therefore, I cannot let my team down again. I will pay more attention to the "puck" in order to prevent the occurrence from happening once again. Colonel Castles approaches me and taps my helmet. "Thanks Teal'c for making it easier on us." I can feel my symbiote fidget within me. I grab his arm and begin to put pressure on it but Colonel O'Neill instructs me to let him go. I do as I am told.

Jack O'Neill  

I am going to kill Castles! Of course the asshole just can't help but rub it in that they're up one to nothing. Nope. He has to aggravate Teal'c. Maybe I should stop the game right here and now. On the other hand, maybe we'll wait a few more plays and see if the tension eases. Alright, back to the face-off line in the center. I may be getting old but my reflexes are not gone. Within seconds, I beat him to the puck and start skating up. Thornton, another member of SG-6, is covering Daniel. Daniel is having a hard time. Thornton's hands are pushing and shoving him making it almost impossible for him to get open. I look next to me and Carter skating up. I pass it to her and I pick up the speed. To my surprise, she's controlling the puck pretty well. Actually, really well. None of the bastards can get the puck away from her. I position myself in front of the net and she knows the play. She passes it to me. The next thing I know, my face is on hard concrete and an old candy wrapper is the only thing I can see from this angle. The idiot pushed me! I can feel my rage rising. I push myself of the pavement and I find myself facing Castles, a smile on his face. 

"You have to be tougher than that O'Neill." He's about to skate away but before he can do that, I grab him by the jersey. 

"You son of a bitch!"

Daniel Jackson  

This game is getting far too serious much too soon. I've never seen Jack so mad. It's also the first time I've ever seen him bullied by someone bigger than him. Normally, his glares can even make the biggest of men shrink away. I guess there is an exception to everything. Castles doesn't seem the least bit intimidated by Jack judging from the little shove he gave Jack. Whoa, Jack's gonna punch him. Better get there. These damn roller blades are killing me. Thank G-d I get there before Jack can do anything he'll regret. I grab his arm and pull him back. Thornton's pulling on Castles to back off also. Jack roughly pulls his arm away from my grasp and finally skates a way mumbling under his breath. I can faintly here a couple of words that confirm how upset he really is. 

"Jack, maybe we should stop the game now." He stops skating and turns to me with this deathly serious expression. 

"No, we continue the game," he answers and skates towards the face-off line. I glance up at Carter and her eyes meet mine, worry evident on her face as well. We both know how competitive Jack can get and we also know that nothing can stop him from getting what he wants. 

Samantha Carter  

The game went from innocent to down right physical! Cromwell is all over me and I find myself getting more and more frustrated. The Colonel keeps yelling at me to get open. Ughh! "Get your hands off of me Cromwell" I can't help but yell when I feel his fingers on my hip. This isn't an invitation for some touchy feely fiasco for goodness sakes. That's it. Time to use the elbows. I smile when I hear a faint cry and I can see Cromwell doubling over out of the corner of my eye. Without further ado, I take advantage of the freedom and get open. Colonel O'Neill wastes no time in passing the puck towards me. Castles is all over him and he keeps hooking his stick onto the Colonel's in order to slow him down. I skate as fast as I can. I look up and I can see Thornton all over Daniel. He's using his stick with two hands and pushing it against Daniel's back causing him to lose his footing. Daniel falls down and tries to quickly get up. I'm almost at the net. I stop myself and swing the stick back. I bring it down hard and shoot the puck. Captain Rogers, their goalie, gets down on the ground placing his goalie stick down in front of him. The rebound flies right back at me. I can feel my adrenaline pumping. I look up again and I can see that Thornton left Daniel and is skating towards me. Daniel's free! I swing my stick back and fake the shot. Instead, I aim the pass to Daniel who's right next to the net.

Daniel Jackson  

Oh G-d, oh G-d, oh G-d. She's passing it here! 

"Shoot it Danny! Now! Shoot it!" 

Better listen to Jack. I can feel myself bring up the stick. But, by the time I bring it down, the puck is gone. What the?!?!? Oh G-d, Castles has it. Boy he's fast. I didn't even see him steal it from me. He's already down the other end in front of Teal'c. Jack's skating his heart out to catch up to him. Castles shoots the puck at Teal'c. Oh G-d, I can feel my heart pumping uncontrollably! I can't believe it. Teal'c saved it! I don't know how he did it but he saved it! Thank G-d. I can see Castles skating away shaking his head in disbelief as his adrenaline slowly dies down. Jack still doesn't look pleased. He looks up at me, his eyes in a piercing stare and yells, "Time-out!"

Jack O'Neill  

Time to kill Daniel! Why does he have to be so damn slow! Anyone could have taken that shot. He had an open net for crying out loud! He almost cost us the game! My team is gathering around me for the time-out that I just called and I can see the regret and guilt in his face. He's about to open his mouth. I don't have time for this bullshit. 

"I don't want to hear it Daniel!" I snap at him. Damn! I'll have to apologize to him later on but right now, I want to win this game. I continue to pep the team up. "Nice save Teal'c." He nods his head. "Carter, good stick handling, keep it up." I can see Daniel already looking down at his skates as I skip over him. I don't really care right now. I'll have a long talk with him later. "Look guys, we have got to hold it together out there. I didn't tell you this before but I made a little bet with Castles. If they win, we end up SGC's official cleaning ladies." Carter's eyes shoot up towards me. Between panting, I take another deep breath and explain to them about the whole stupid deal. "Look, I don't know about you guys but I don't feel like cleaning up after goons like SG-6. So let's get it together." I can see Carter and Teal'c nod there head in a rebirth of determination. Daniel says nothing. "Okay kids, let's play." And with that, our huddle breaks up and I line myself up for the face-off.

Samantha Carter  

Colonel O'Neill loses the face-off and Castles has possession of the puck. Purposely, I leave a little room between myself and Cromwell. Let's see if this Castles guy will fall for it. Yup! He does! He passes the puck towards Cromwell but my timing is perfect and I easily intercept the pass just as I planned. I can hear Colonel O'Neill yell out to me, 

"Nice Carter!" I smile proudly and I race up with the puck towards Rogers. Daniel's still being covered by Thornton who is being extra careful not letting the archaeologist out of his sight again. The Colonel skates up next to me. Somehow, he managed to get rid of Castles. I don't take anymore time to think about it before I realize that it is a two on one in our favour. The colonel and I pass the puck between each other confusing Cromwell who is skating backwards trying to defend his territory. When we are close enough, I make a quick pass to my CO and he makes a beautiful shot and beats Rogers to tie the game. Yes! I can feel myself being lifted up and twirled around by the Colonel. This game is sure getting intense but I'm having the best time. I guess a girl can play a man's sport!

Teal'c  

Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill have defeated our opposition. I am very pleased. However, I feel somewhat concerned for Daniel Jackson who is no doubt overcome with guilt due to his error. O'Neill has not treated him fairly. However, I know my team mates well and I am quite confident that they will work out their differences. Colonel Castles I notice is quite upset. He has already demonstrated his anger by breaking his stick. This pleases me.

Daniel Jackson  

Five minutes and the game is over. Thank G-d for that. At least that's one thing in my favour today. Hopefully, there is no over-time. I am never playing hockey again! Jack is sincerely pissed at me. Better stay out of his way for the rest of the day. Jack's got the puck again. I can tell he's having trouble with Castles. He passes it to Carter who is also trying to get away from Cromwell. Thornton is not letting me move. I'm not even sure if I'd be much help even if I could move! Jack's got the puck again. I look at my watch. Two minutes left. Jack's skating in circles waiting for Carter to get open. He's not even bothering with me. I don't blame him. He passes it back to Carter. A minute and ten seconds left. She fakes Cromwell in going left and she goes right. Boy, she's good! She's skating up. Thornton leaves me to defend her. Jack gets free too and she passes the puck to him. But, Castles is right behind him and his stick tangles with Jack's roller blades and Jack dives to the floor. The puck flies loose and I reach out and take it with my stick. Twenty seconds left. I swing my stick without even aiming it. I can't believe my eyes when I see Rogers go down and the puck fly past his shoulder and hits the back of the net. I scored! I repeat it to myself in disbelief. 

"Yes Daniel!" I can hear Jack yell as he makes his way over to me. Jack's face turns white for a second and his hands go out as if to warn me. I also hear Sam's concerned cry. I can feel my feet fly up from under me and...

Jack O'Neill  

Oh G-d! Oh Shit! Before I can control myself, I'm all over Castles. My hands turn into fists and I lose control. He's down on the ground. I keep punching him, his blood all over my wrists. I can hear Carter screaming in panic. 

"Oh G-d. JANET. JANET!!! SOMEONE GET JANET! NOW!!!!!" She's kneeling on the ground next to Daniel. I turn back to Castles and more anger pours out of me. I keep punching until someone grabs my arms and pulls me off of him. Teal'c! Sam's screaming again. Her voice is cracking. 

"JANET! JANET! Oh G-d. Daniel, can you hear me? JANET!" Her hands are full of blood. 

"Teal'c let go of me!" He lets go and I skate over towards Carter and Daniel. I look down and I'm on my knees immediately. "Oh G-d! JANET!" Daniel's out cold. Blood all over his face and under his head making a puddle on the pavement. There's even blood coming out of his nose and ears! Tears are in Carter's eyes. 

"Sir, he fell back on his head hard. He's bleeding heavily." She's already putting pressure on Daniel's scalp where the blood keeps gushing out abnormally. Where the hell is Janet?!?

Janet Frasier  

"Janet, Daniel's hurt. You better get out there." I look at Cromwell, the young man is scared. 

"What happened Major?" I ask as I wipe my hands from cutting the vegetables and jog to the closet where I keep my first-aid kit. 

"Colonel Castles cross-checked Daniel and he flipped and landed head first on the pavement Ma'am. I think it's worse than a concussion. He's bleeding heavily ma'am." 

My heart is in my throat. 

"Is he conscious Major?" 

"No Ma'am but..." 

I'm out the door before even hearing the rest of his response. I get to the front of the house where a crowd has gathered around a still body. I quickly run down the driveway and call out to Cromwell, 

"Call an ambulance NOW!" I push people out of the way and get down on the pavement next to Daniel. I can feel Daniel's warm blood under my bare knees. "Daniel...Daniel can you hear me!" He's unresponsive as I take the ice pack out of the first aid kit and give it to Sam. "Press it on his scalp." I then check his pulse. Thank G-d it's there! I can feel knees against my back surrounding myself and Sam. "Move away please!" I screamed out of nerves not planning on being so harsh. They instantly move away. As I check the injury, I notice a depression in his skull. The blood out of his nose and ears all point to the same diagnosis. Hell, he needs an ambulance fast! "Teal'c, go into the house and get the backboard that's in the closet next to the kitchen. Also grab the C-collar. We're going to get prep him for the ambulance." 

"Janet?" Sam's looking at me with concern. 

"I think he has a depressed skull fracture Sam." Our eyes are locked as comprehension sinks in. 

Teal'c is already out of the house and back with the backboard and the C-collar. 

"Okay, Sam, I need your help. Put your hands on both sides of his head and I'll put mine under his shoulders. Make sure not to twist his head in any way. Colonel, I'll need you to lift his feet and then we'll move him onto the backboard. Okay, on three. One, two three..." I grab the C-collar and begin to put it on him. 

"What are you doing?" Jack stammers. 

"I'm stabilising his head from further..." I can feel movement under me . He's waking up. Oh no, he's going to retch! "Quick, help me turn him on his side!" And with that, Daniel lets go of his stomach contents. I ease him back onto his back. "Daniel...can you hear me? Look at me Daniel." He opens his eyes and I can see terror in them. 

"I can't breathe!" His eyes start to roll back. I have to keep him conscious. I desperately grab his cheeks careful not to move his head. His eyes begin to focus a little more on me. "Janet, help me. I can't breathe!" He's terrified. 

"Daniel, stay calm! Just take slow deep breaths. Do you remember what happened? Don't move your head Daniel." I can see that he was trying to shake his head. "You fell and hit your head. You were unconscious for quite a bit of time." His eyes all of a sudden open wide in a sudden panic. 

"Janet, I can't feel my legs or arms. Oh G-d, I can't move. What's happening?" Tears begin to form in his eyes. I know that he's scared. Hell I'd be too. 

"What does that mean Janet?" the Colonel grabs my arm and takes my attention away from Daniel. 

"It means that there's swelling on his brain. It should be temporary." I turn my head back to Daniel who's eyes are unfocused. And without any warning, Daniel's eyes roll back and he starts to convulse. 

"Janet. Oh G-d what's happening?" I can hear the sirens of the ambulance approaching. Perfect timing. 

"Sam don't touch him. We have to wait until the convulsions stop." 

"Janet, his lips are turning blue!" Sam was losing control of her emotions. "Help him!" Finally the paramedics arrive. The convulsions last for forty seconds before Daniel's eyes open again. He's clearly scared. I'm not sure if the tears are from fear or pain. 

"I can't move. I can't move Janet." I don't know how to calm him down. 

"Colonel, come with me on the ambulance." If anyone could soothe him, it's the Colonel. He doesn't protest and helps the paramedic lift Daniel up onto the ambulance. I get into the white van and update the paramedics on his condition as the ambulance takes off.

Jack O'Neill  

Daniel is hyperventilating. I've never seen him so freaked out. I don't know what to to calm him down. 

"Keep this over his mouth." The paramedic hands me a oxygen mask. " Pulse is 120, weak but regular!" I reach out to take it from him and my hand is shaking. Can't show Daniel that I'm scared. Janet leans over him. 

"It'll help you breath. Don't move your head," she tells him. I put the mask over his mouth. 

"It's okay buddy. You just hit your head a little too hard." His eyes stare up at me. Tears of fear and confusion continue to run down his cheeks as he settles down a bit. I put my hand on his chest to reassure him. His eyes roll back again and my heart starts to race even faster. Not this again! The convulsions begin without warning. His muscles are twitching like crazy. 

"Colonel, don't press down on him. Let them pass on their own." I take my hand off and watch in horror as he continues to shake uncontrollably. Then, like nothing happened at all, his body is motionless. 

The paramedic is checking his pulse and lifting his eyelids and stares into them with a tiny flashlight. 

" Pulse still 120! He's unresponsive. Let's wheel him out!" The doors open and Daniel is taken from my grasp. Before I even get off the ambulance, he's out of sight.

Samantha Carter  

I hate waiting like this. It rips all the energy out of me. My nerves are working on overdrive. I rushed to the hospital as soon as I could. Daniel had to go through emergency surgery. It has been four hours already and no updates on his condition. None of us have changed clothes since the accident. I don't think anybody cares right now. General Hammond arrived just over an hour ago. Jack is in a restless sleep lying across two chairs in the waiting room. I'm already starting to nod off... 

"Sam...Sam wake up." Someone is shaking me. "Daniel!" I blurt out more as an inquiry than a statement. I quickly sit up and notice Janet sitting next to me. Teal'c is standing next to her and Jack is offering me a cup of coffee. I take it from him gratefully. "How is he?" I am quickly getting out of my stupor. No tears in Janet's eyes, good sign. 

" Okay, well Daniel suffered from a depressed skull fracture. In a depressed skull fracture, the outside of the skull remains intact, but the internal fragments of the skull press on his brain. Daniel was complaining that he couldn't move his limbs. The paralysis was caused from the pressure that the fracture inflicted on his brain. We had to get him into surgery right away in order to relieve his brain from the pressure. The paralysis will be temporary and he should gain full function of his limbs when the swelling goes down." 

"Isn't that good news Doc?" Colonel O'Neill asks and I feel all the pressure on my chest elevate when I see Janet nod her head. Her smile is the best thing that I've seen all day. 

"Yes Colonel, it seems that our archaeologist made it out of yet another 'uneventful occasion'. But, I want you to make sure that he wears a helmet next time. Is that understood?" The Colonel is already on his feet and moving towards the double doors. 

"Colonel O'Neill, where do you think you're going?" Janet asks. 

"Where do you think I'm going? To give Daniel a little bit of a hard time." He walks back to Janet and lowers his tone into a whisper. "Actually, to tell you truth, I'm going to kill him. He scared the living crap out of me. So if you don't mind telling me where his room is so that I can bash his brains in." The Colonel winces at his words, coughs and adds, "No pun intended." I've worked for three and a half years with this man and I know him well enough to distinguish when he is only joking. He would never intentionally hurt Daniel in any way. Although both men have complete oppositely polar personalities, they have a special bond that nobody on the base can understand. I guess the Colonel just uses humour to deal with his concerns or worries. Daniel had us all biting our nails back there. Janet answers him with a smug grin. 

"Well Colonel, if a lobotomy is yet another thing on your checklist before visiting Daniel then your headed in the right direction." She points to the double doors on the other side of the waiting room. Teal'c and I get up in order to follow his lead; we're all anxious to see him. Janet stops us. "First of all, Daniel is still out cold from the drugs and secondly, I highly suggest you all take showers and change before seeing him. I know I wouldn't want to wake up after a five hour surgery to be greeted by such a horrific sight. You might want to wash your hands also." I look down at my clothes and gasp. My hands, neck and top were stained a dark reddish- brown: caked blood. Daniel's blood Janet looks at us with sympathy. "Look, go home, all of you. Take a shower, change your clothes and I'll arrange something with the hospital so that you can visit him after visiting hours. You don't have to rush. I don't want to hear about any car accidents, alright? Daniel will be fine. Now go!" I smile at her to let her know just how much we appreciate her help. She smiles at me and nods while all of SG-1 minus Daniel move to the elevators. Stepping into the elevator car, I finally allow myself to let out a long sigh. That was one hell of a day!

Jack O'Neill  

Why do these damn hospital rooms have to be so darn confusing huh?! 340...342...345...402...404...Where the hell is room 356 for crying out loud?!? Great, Carter is asking the nurse and I overhear something about going around the corner, turning left, right and then left again... all the way around the world and back! I should really complain about having some maps posted up or something. Carter thanks the woman, turns to me and points to the elevator. For crying out loud!!! These damn cookies I'm gripping are taking the brunt of it all. 

Finally, room 356. I look at Carter and Teal'c. "Should we knock?" Two seconds later, a nurse comes out of his room. 

"You must be Daniel's friends. Dr. Frasier informed us that you would come. I just woke him up to give him a shot, something that would ease the pain. I'm sure he'll be happy to see you, I'm just not sure how aware he'll be. Give it a try." She smiles and walks away. I shrug and open the door. The lights are off and I can tell that Dr. Frasier arranged for a single room. I decide to leave the lights off and let the guy have his sleep. The curtain is around his bed so I can't really see him but his soft snoring ensures me that he's indeed out cold. I have to get one look at him. Just to witness the strength and durability that is Daniel Jackson with my own eyes. I pull back the curtain and I can't help but jump back a bit. Whoa, didn't expect that! Carter was also taken a little off guard. Daniel's head was completely bare albeit the patch that they put on his injury. Man, should've realized that they shave your head for a head related surgery. Despite the fact that he's as pale as ever, Daniel looks at ease. Actually, it looks as if he's getting the best sleep ever. He's so far under those covers that it's a miracle he can breathe. A butterfly wrapped in a cocoon. 

"Daniel..." I whisper as I lean down right above his face. He doesn't seem aware of anything. He's definitely out cold. I put my hand on his cheek. Wow, he's warm. He's really having a good sleep. Finally, movement. I can see his eyes flutter open and look up at me. I can feel my lips form into a large smile. 

"Hey buddy. How ya' feeling?" Carter moves in and puts her hand on his cheek also. He closes his eyes and smiles. 

"Better. Janet told me everything went well. " I can tell he's tired but he's fighting it, struggling to keep his eyes open. "We won the game right?" 

That comment got a smile even from Teal'c. 

"Yeah Danny, we kicked their asses thanks to you." His eyes are closed again. Only silence follows so I put the cookies or rather what is left of them on the counter next to him and motion for Carter and Teal'c that it's time to leave our archaeologist to his slumber. As I'm about to get up and leave his side I hear a faint voice coming from the sleeping form, 

"They shaved my head Jack." I put my hand back on his cheek and whisper, 

"It'll grow back in no time Danny." By the time I take my hand away, he's back in dreamland.

Daniel Jackson  

It's been a good week and a half since the surgery and almost everything is back to normal. So far, I've only been doing office work such as translations and old mission reports that I didn't have enough time to complete prior to the accident. Finally, I got permission to go on a recon mission with SG-1 tomorrow as long as I'm feeling up to it. Apart from a few headaches, I'm feeling okay. Actually, I'm lying. The headaches are pretty bad but I'm not about to ruin my chances on going off world. We're scheduled for a briefing in about ten minutes. Hopefully, the planet will be interesting enough... at least more interesting than office work!

Samantha Carter  

The briefing is a short one. Not much to say about P3F 969. The planet sounds like a haven compared to other ones we've recently visited yet I still have my concerns. Not about the planet but about Daniel. He's been full of energy ever since he's returned to the base doing up to twelve hours of work a day by helping other teams with their translations. But something tells me he's putting on a little show because when he's not aware, I can see him rub his temples and scrunch his face up in pain. When I inquire, he mumbles something about being fine and walks away. Ah! He's doing it again. Why must men always protect their pride? Why can't they just admit if they are feeling under the weather?!. 

"Dismissed". The General's words bring me out of my thoughts. I walk over to Daniel. He's still sitting in his seat, his face in his hands. I put my hand on his shoulder but he doesn't react, as if he didn't notice the touch. 

"Daniel, are you sure you are ready to go tomorrow?" He jumps under my grasp. 

"Oh, sorry Sam, didn't hear you. You scared me." Now I'm a little concerned. Did he not feel me put my hand on his shoulder? I repeat the question. 

I can tell that this is probably the one hundredth time he's been harassed with the same question. He tries to conceal his frustration and simply smiles in his response, 

"I'm fine Sam. You don't have to worry." 

"Okay, just make sure you have a good sleep tonight." 

Daniel Jackson  

I woke up with the biggest headache this morning! The aspirin that Dr. Frasier gave me isn't taking effect. Maybe I should call in sick. I look at the time. 5:46 a.m I can't call in sick! I need to get a look at the abandoned pyramid on P3F 69...69...something or other. Can't remember at the moment. The MALP led me to believe that it once belonged to a Goa'uld queen. I need to translate those hieroglyphs! 

Might as well make some coffee. Whoa! What's with my arm? That's weird. My left arm feels...numb. I probably slept on it. Maybe if I shake it...Why isn't the numbness going away like it normally should upon shaking it? Relax Jackson! You're being paranoid. Now, what time is it again? 5:47 a.m Oh yeah. I just looked at it. Wow, I'm more tired than I thought. Maybe I'll just go back to sleep for a little longer. This time, I'll make sure not to sleep on my arm.... 

The snooze button went off. Time to get up Jackson. 5:57 a.m I shake my left arm again. It's still numb. Weird. I'll get Dr. Frasier to check it out when we get back. Might as well get dressed now. If I'm late to my first mission, Jack will definitely have my hide and I'll be back doing office work in no time. 

Finally dressed and ready to go. Now, where did I put my keys? No, not on the table. Not on the armoire. Not next to the T.V. What the? Where did I put them? They're always nearby! I'm looking everywhere here. How could this be? Ten minutes of searching and no sign of them. Wait a minute. I put my hand in my pocket and voilà! Wait to go Jackson. But, when did I take them? Wow, maybe I hit my head harder than I thought.

Jack O'Neill  

Daniel looks a lot better. He's got colour back in his face and he's actually on time today. However, for some reason, he's favouring his right arm while he's grabbing his equipment. I'll ask him about that later, but right now, we've got some exploring to do! 

"Ready kids?" My whole team is waiting at the bottom of the ramp facing the stargate. I look up at the General and await the engagement of the 7 chevrons and the familiar wormhole to be established. 

"Jack, can I borrow your extra pair of sunglasses? I forgot to pack mine." I look at Daniel carefully. 

"Daniel, you already asked me that. I told you 'yes' twenty minutes ago. Are you sure you had a good sleep?" He doesn't answer me. Instead, he just turns his head toward the stargate with a look of utter confusion. Man, the guy has got to get more sleep! 

The planet has ideal conditions. The temperature is about 18 degrees Celsius and the atmospheric pressure is...well...Carter knows. She says its perfect. So, the day has already started out well. No snakeheads, no big ugly bugs, not too many trees and SG-1 is whole again. 

"Carter, check for any signs of Naquada, Daniel, you check on that pyramid of yours and Teal'c, come with me. We'll think of something to do while these scientists go at it...Whoa, Daniel. You okay there?" Daniel is sweating profusely and he looks unsteady on his feet. His right hand is gripping onto his temples and his left hand is laying limply on his side. I quickly make my way over to him and sit him down next to the DHD. "You okay?" He nods his head slowly. 

"Just the gate travel Jack. I'll be fine." I look at Carter and she meets my eyes with an equally concerned look. 

"Okay, Daniel, just take it easy. Don't stress yourself out on the first day. Tell me if you want to go back home, okay?" He shakes his head and I help him up. "Your arm okay?" He nods again this time quicker. 

"Jack, I'm fine." I look at the pyramid. It's about fifty yards from the stargate. He should be okay. 

"Okay, Daniel. Go have your fun!" I pat him on the back and motion for Teal'c to follow me. 

Samantha Carter  

Daniel is acting weird today. He's a bit jumpy and he's sweating like we gated to a desert. I think he's hiding something from us. Maybe I'll go make sure he's okay. 

Daniel Jackson  

I don't think I can make it to the pyramid. My head is really killing me and now my leg feels numb. What the hell is going on. Oh no, Sam is coming over. Put on a smile Jackson, make like everything is fine. 

Samantha Carter  

Oh great! There's that fake smile. Doesn't he realize that I know him well enough to understand that he's hurting?!? Before I can reach him, he sort of trips on his own two feet and lands hard on the ground. I already find myself running to him and I'm on my knees next to him in no time. 

"Sam...It's happening again." He looks up at me with the same fear in his eyes that I saw back at Janet's house. He's having a hard time breathing again. 

"What's happening Daniel?" Please make it just be the flu or something. 

"My left arm and leg are numb. I can't feel anything. My head is..." Oh G-d! Not again. 

"COLONEL...TEAL'C!!!"

Jack O'Neill  

Now, I just have to find that football that I packed. Teach Teal'c a few moves...What the? Is that Sam? I turn around and nearly lose my balance at the sight. Daniel is convulsing again! Teal'c is already sprinting over to him and I'm not far behind. 

"What happened Major?" Sam is a little freaked out. Her hands are shaking. 

"I don't know sir. He tripped and started to convulse." Daniel's body suddenly stopped jerking. He's still conscious. 

"Jack, I can't move again. Oh G-d...help...please help me...my head." I've never seen Daniel in so much pain. 

"Teal'c, Carter, dial us out of here, NOW!" Carter and Teal'c are already heading towards the DHD and I bend down and lift Daniel up. "Daniel, we're going home. Just hang in there!" Tears are flowing down his face and I'm not sure if they're tears of pain or fear. Either way, he nods at me and I start my jog towards the stargate.

Janet Frasier  

"Medical team ..." The speakers clamour. I hear the stargate activate and I know an SG team needs my help. It's really amazing how fast you get used to running in high heels. G-d knows I've had my share of practise. 

"General?" I ask him in the gate room and he's quick to respond. 

"SG-1 just left fifteen minutes ago Doctor. Just taking precautions." But he's nervous too. The minute I hear that it's SG-1 signal, my heart sinks. They're are the most efficient and best working team out there. Why are they the ones who have to put up with the most shit! Daniel! Oh G-d, it better not be Daniel. Carter and Teal'c stagger out from the stargate. 

"Medical team!" They yell in unison and I'm already running up the ramp just in time to see Colonel O'Neill and Daniel, in his arms, stumble out. He immediately lays him down. 

"Daniel, what happened? What's wrong?" He's conscious but the colonel answers for him. 

"He can't feel the left side of his body. He's also got a severe migraine that's taking a toll on his vision. He can't focus on anything." Daniel is nodding his head throughout O'Neill's explanation. My team joins me at the top of the ramp and they put Daniel on a stretcher. 

"Okay, I want an MRI and a CT scan STAT!" I lean in and put my hand over Daniel's forehead, "Take deep breaths, remember? Just like before. Everything is going to be fine." As my team wheels the stretcher down the base hallway, I'm holding Daniel's hand and he's gripping on to me pretty tightly. "Daniel, I'm going to walk you through it, don't worry okay?" He nods and I can tell he's still having problems focusing on me. This doesn't look good Janet! Paralysis, vision impairment, headaches...I'm not liking where this is leading to. The CT and MRI should confirm if anything is wrong. I can feel the rest of SG-1's presence behind me. And so it begins again! 

The medical team knows the urgency in the situation and they are quick to remove Daniel's field clothes. While they are undressing him, I take the opportunity to go ask the rest of SG-1 some questions. 

"Colonel, did you notice anything strange about Daniel that I should be concerned about?" The Colonel just shakes his head and responds, 

"Just what I've told you. He started having convulsions and then he complained about his vision, a bad headache and not feeling the left part of his body." 

"Sorry to interrupt sir but I just remembered something! Yesterday, at the briefing, I put my hand on Daniel's left shoulder and he didn't feel a thing." I look at Sam in disbelief. 

"You mean to tell me that its been over 24 hours that he's been paralysed on his left side?" 

"Well, I don't think it was as bad yesterday considering he was still able to walk. I think that the paralysis is progressing slowly. Also, I have the feeling that he had these headaches yesterday as well and maybe even before that. When I asked him about them he denied it, but I've seen him rub his temples plenty a time to know that he was in pain." Now I'm upset. Why can't Daniel come and see me about these things?!?! This is sounding worse by the second. 

"Thank you Sam. Is there anything else? Any signs of dizziness, vomiting, memory loss..." 

"Actually, Daniel asked me the same question twice today. When I told him, he looked confused as if he didn't remember doing so." Oh boy! Before I can explain, I run back down the hall where Daniel was taken, not having time to answer my name that's being called out behind me. When I reach Daniel, he's back on the stretcher and I take his hand in mine as we wheel him to the MRI room. SG-1 is right behind me. 

"Janet? What's wrong?" 

"I'll explain later okay? We've got to go." I answer Sam's question and then I grab the rail on Daniel's stretcher and wheel him towards the MRI room. His head is shifting from side to side but he can't seem to focus on anything. 

"Daniel, we're taking you to the MRI room." He squints as he looks up and nods. Suddenly, his grip on my arm tightens and he starts to convulse again. Oh boy! This is getting very bad very quickly! After he settles, we continue to wheel him into the room where the tunnel-like tube awaits. I get two orderlies to lift Daniel onto the sliding table. Daniel's hand is still holding onto mine tightly. 

"Daniel, I'm going to stay with you okay? This won't hurt at all. We're just going to slide you into the tube so that we can scan your head at different angles using radio waves. When the test is done, we'll be able to see if there is anything wrong." He nods his head and I signal to one of the men at the controls to begin the test. I'm forced to let go of his hand as he disappears into the tube.

Jack O'Neill  

Back to waiting! I'm really going to suggest giving Daniel a full time nurse to tag along with him every single place he goes. It's been forty five minutes already! How long does it take to do an MR..thingy?!? Finally! I get up to greet one of Janet's medics. Where's Janet? 

"Sirs, Dr. Jackson is being prepped for emergency surgery." 

"What!?!" I can feel the bile rise. 

"Dr. Frasier has found that Dr. Jackson is suffering from subacute subdural hematoma." 

"English please!" I have no time for this techno babble crap. Daniel's in surgery and I need to know why. 

"It's okay Brown, I'll take over." Thank G-d! Janet! 

"We did an MRI on Daniel and it's not good at all! He's suffering from subacute subdural hematoma." Before I can open my mouth, she puts her finger up to silence me and begins to explain. She knows me all too well. "Subdural hematoma develops when blood veins that are located between the membranes covering the brain are leaking blood. This happens after a head injury, in Daniel's case, a skull fracture. Blood collects into a mass that presses on the tissues of the brain. Pressure damages the brain tissue and causes loss of brain function that may progressively worsen as the hematoma enlarges and intracranial pressure within the head increases. The injury and the resulting collection of blood can cause inflammation of the brain tissues, which leads to cerebral edema, or more easily put, swelling." 

"So why did you not determine this after the first operation?" Teal'c asks the question that I was waiting for. 

"Well, symptoms of subdural hematoma may only develop even after symptoms of the head injury have improved. Subacute subdural hematoma usually develops symptoms within 2 to 10 days after the injury because of a slightly slower leakage of blood into the subdural area. Typically, symptoms of the original injury improve for a period, followed by development of symptoms after the trauma. This is exactly what happened with Daniel." 

"So, after the operation, he should be fine? You know, back to the old geeky doc Jackson?" the Colonel asks. I have to look down. 

"Well, hopefully, we'll catch it on time and no permanent damage will result. But, considering what you told me earlier, if this was going on for days..." Jack is quick to interrupt. 

"

What do you mean damage? Are you talking about **brain damage**   
here?" The Colonel is looking at me with these eyes,   
eyes full of concern for a man who had become almost like a son to him. Before I   
even know it, I break eye contact and look down at my hands again. I can't look   
at their faces, their eyes. The ones that are so full of trust and confidence in   
me. They believe that I can perform miracles. I can't.

"That's exactly what I'm saying Colonel...I've got to go clean up for surgery." I take one last look at Daniel's teammates...Daniel's family, before I take off for the scrub room.

Samantha Carter  

The view from up here is terrible. I can hardly see anything. I guess that's not really the point though. I just want to feel like I'm there for Daniel. They shaved his head again before it could even grow back. He looks far too pale. Colonel O'Neill is leaning against the glass, his head touching the glass surface overlooking the operating theatre. He's tired...I guess we're all tired. Have to hold it together. I click on the button on the right side of the microphone just in time to hear drilling noises from down below. Dr. Werner is actually drilling into his scalp. I guess it's to relieve the pressure. I quickly find myself mumbling prayers for my dear friend. Funny how G-d can be the only assurance in a time like this. Let's just hope G-d can hear me...Daniel needs him!

Jack O'Neill  

After watching a five hour operation, the only comment I get from Dr. Frasier is that we'll have to wait some more. Great! More waiting. This time, it's waiting by Daniel's bed. Waiting for those blue eyes to flutter open and for a smile to make its appearance on his pale face. Sam and Teal'c insisted on waiting with me and even said they'd sleep there if he still doesn't wake up. I've never truly realized how close this team has become. Always watching out for one another. Well, better get the old hide ready for the damn chair that I know all too well!

Janet Frasier  

Daniel's in a coma. I don't have to tell anyone because they already know. He hasn't woken up yet from the surgery and its already been five days. SG-1 hasn't left his room. If any of them do, it's either to get something to eat or to use the facilities but even then, they take turns, always making sure Daniel's not alone. They can't wait for him to wake up and have everything back to normal. I'm not sure it ever will. The thing I'm scared to death about is whether the Daniel that will wake up will be the same Daniel that we've grown to love and respect. The Daniel that has managed to enter into everyone's heart. I haven't told them yet, because I'm not so sure myself, but the longer he's in a coma, the more I fear for the worst. Hopefully, we caught it on time. I can't even begin to think what would happen if he did develop permanent brain damage. We'd never see that familiar wide eyed look that he gets when he's discovered something knew, like a little boy opening a birthday gift for the first time. We'd never be able to hear him go on and on about a translation with his extensive vocabulary, his lips hardly able to catch up with his brain. We'd never see all the passion and emotion in those blue eyes, making him easier to read than a book. I'd never suffer from another laugh attack while Daniel and the Colonel get into another one of their "arguments". I'd never see that look of humanity in his eyes that so many of these soldiers seemed to have lost. Worst of all, I'd never see the warmth and recognition that he gives off anytime he sees me in the halls. He needs to make it through. He has to. How could I live with myself if...Whoa, have to stay strong Janet! Can't let anybody know your losing it. Wipe the tears away and go on with your routine. Somehow, I know that this is going to be a crappy day.

Jack O'Neill  

It's been ten days Daniel. Come on, you've had enough rest. Wake up damn you! How much longer you gonna keep this up? How much longer you gonna keep us at the edge of our seats huh?! Frasier says that talking to you might help. Hell, I'm all talked out. What is there to say? I'm sitting here waiting for you to wake up all day long! Fun huh? Anymore of this and the nurses will start to consider me as permanent equipment here. Daniel, just wake up. Please! Do you want me to beg? I'll beg all you want, just open those eyes. Everyone is walking around having their doubts about you ever waking up. Prove their theory wrong Jackson! I stare at his face and ...nothing. Damn!

Samantha Carter  

It's the second week and counting. It's torture. I can't eat or sleep. I'm just coming back from my coffee break and still no change. He hasn't even moved a finger! The Colonel is sleeping in his chair and I know he'll have a stiff neck come morning. It's 2:00 a.m and I find myself repeating a prayer for Daniel for the hundreth time. Oh G-d, help him make it through this! I might as well try talking to him again. 

Jack O'Neill  

"COLONEL!!! WAKE UP!! He's coming to!" What?!?!? I nearly fall off the chair. Daniel is definitely moving over there! Teal'c is already out the door most probably getting Janet. Come on Daniel. Open your eyes! They're fluttering...come on Danny, a bit more. Yes! His eyes are finally open. 

"DANIEL!" Sam exclaims unable to hold back her excitement and relief. I can feel my own heart pumping at a million miles per hour. I put my hand on his shoulder, needing to feel the human touch. He can feel my touch cause his eyes turn to me. 

"Welcome to the land of the living Danny-boy! Had a good sleep? Janet's gonna ring your neck after what you put her through over the past few..." Something's wrong. Something is definitely wrong! His eyes are staring right through me. "Daniel? You okay? Take it easy." No response. "Daniel?...Daniel, it's Jack. Can you hear me?" No response. 

Oh G-D!!!!!!!!!!!!! No way this is happening! This has to be some nasty dream or something! I'm shaking him but he doesn't respond to me. His eyes are still staring into oblivion. Sam's calling his name now urgently too. I can feel my stomach turn over. Carter's shaking his shoulders to get him out of wherever he is. Nothing. It's as if he can't recognize us! He's just... 

"Daniel...Daniel, say something...please!" Tears are running down her cheeks now. Before, I can take control over myself, I'm shaking Daniel violently ."DAMN YOU JACKSON! TALK TO ME!" I stop shaking him and his body remains still as the bed ceases its up and down movement. I slap him hard. Still no reaction. Oh G-d, I can feel myself getting sick. His eyes...those blue eyes...they're so lost...so lost... Oh G-d...Sam's down...oh G-d...have to get out of here...I'm gonna be sick...I run to the bathroom and stick my head in the sink. The vomit is released and with that, I go down... 

Janet Fraisier  

Finally, Daniel has come to. Teal'c is running in front of me just as eager to get to him as I am. One more corner and... I'm there! Just have to open the door and...WHOA!!! 

"SAM?" Sam is on the her knees gripping onto Daniel's bed rail, her knuckles white. "SAM...what's wrong?!?" She's not answering me. She's hyperventalating. She's in shock...where's the Colonel? Oh G-d. Daniel! My curiosity takes over and I run to his bed. His eyes are open wide, his body unmoving. "Daniel, can you hear me? If you can hear me, raise your hand!!!" He's gazing out at me with only a cold stare. I can see no warmth, no recognition in those eyes! Oh G-d. It can't be! I try again. "Daniel, its Janet! Daniel, raise your hand if you know who I am!" No response. Oh G-d. No! After all this? After all that he's been through? It can't be! The brilliance, the intelligence... gone? OVER AN INNOCENT GAME OF **FUCKING** HOCKEY?!?!?!?! Oh G-d. Oh G-d. Oh G-d. Think straight! I can hear the sound of someone retching. It's coming from the bathroom...COLONEL! He's down on the ground vomiting all over the floor. Teal'c is already helping him up. I feel helpless... I feel so dirty. I look up at the ceiling. "WHAT THE HELL DID HE DO TO DESERVE THIS! ANSWER ME!!! ANSWER ME DAMMIT!!!" I get down on all fours and crawl over to Sam. I pull her hand away from the railing of the bed and rock her in my arms. Somehow through our sobbing, we both know that the SGC will never be the same.

Jack O'Neill  

I can't believe he's gone. Every time I look at him, I feel like he's just going to snap out of it and say, "GOTCHA!" and then give us that one hundred dollar smile of his. It's been four days since Janet officially diagnosed it as brain damage. Four days since that G-d awful experience in his room. I can't believe it. Sometimes, I can just hear his words in my head explaining things with such knowledge and wisdom. The genius doing what he did best. And now, I feel a stabbing a knife through my heart as I recollect the thousands of times I've told him to shut up in the past. I'll never hear those intellectual words ever again. 

I swear, the next time I see Castles, I'm going to seriously KILL HIM! If I ever see his face near me...Stop it O'Neill. Daniel wouldn't want this. 

I have to tell my brain over and over again that it's all real. I lost my best friend. He's dead to me now. His body lies here taunting me, ripping out all my insides in the process. Daniel...I shouldn't even call him that anymore. Daniel is gone to us. I scoop up the yogurt with the spoon and bring it up to his face. He opens his mouth slightly and allows me to feed him, his eyes still staring into space. I take another spoonful and he does the same. Over and over I go through the motions, like feeding a damn baby!!! Before I know it, the spoon hits the bottom of the container and there is nothing left. 

"All done." I tell him even though I know he can't understand me. I look at his face and he opens his mouth again as if not to brake the rhythm that we had going. "It's all finished Daniel." I repeat myself. His mouth is still open. "DANIEL, there's no more. DO YOU UNDERSTAND. NO MORE!!!" Daniel's mouth remains open, waiting to be fed. I can feel my frustration rise. "DANIEL...DAMMIT...CLOSE YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!!!...THERE'S NO MORE!!" I throw the tray across the room. As the tray snaps in half upon contact with the wall, he finally closes his mouth. "Shit, I'm sorry Daniel I..." my tone of voice lowers to a whisper. "It's no way to live...it's no fucking way to live!" He's fed, he's washed and he even wears a fucking diaper! It's no fucking way to live. I find myself reflecting back on Daniel's words. 'Death is more favourable than being a prisoner within your own body.' Well Daniel...you were right! 

Its the next morning and Dr. Frasier calls the General and SG-1 to the infirmary. Her face is sombre and I know she has bad news. A tear is already running down her cheek. 

"I don't know how to say this but... Daniel passed away at 0500 hours." Sam's gasp cuts the silence like a knife. The General immediately helps her to a seat. Her hand is over her mouth in disbelief and she finally lets her sobs free. Janet waits for the initial shock to wear off and then continues in almost a whisper. "He died peacefully in his sleep...He didn't suffer." The silence in the room endures for a few minutes until Teal'c helps Carter up and guides her trembling form out of the infirmary. The General makes his way slowly to the doorway of Daniel's room and stays there for a moment or two before he walks away shaking his head. I turn my head back to the petite doctor. Janet looks at me for a brief moment, and I know she knows the truth. She knows what I did...what I had to do. She nods her head at me, eyes filled with sorrow and understanding and walks away. I stand alone for a moment, not sure what to do next. I walk over to the room across the hall and I say goodbye one last time. 

**The End**

  


* * *

>   
>  © March 27, 2000  
> The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp.  
> The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters  
> who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names,   
> titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television,   
> Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd.   
> Partnership.  
> This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and   
> solely meant for entertainment.   
> All other characters, the story idea and the story itself   
> are the sole property of the author.   
> 

  


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_http://www.stargatefan.com_


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